My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
