There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
