Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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