I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
