She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
