When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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