Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
