dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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