ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
