it wasn't lemon gatorade
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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