Can Purell be used as lube?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
