Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
