How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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