oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Screwed.edu
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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