At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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