Screwed.edu
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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