The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
