the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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