Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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