this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
