i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
