I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
