The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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