why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
