Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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