He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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