first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
