We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Randomize
