I'm sorry my penis didn't work
are you so shy because you have an std?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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