WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
