Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am one with the molecules
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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