I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
