She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
either way he was missing a nipple.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
