Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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