I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
