i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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