SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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