My liver just broke up with me...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
