wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
