dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Be still, my beating vagina.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I lost the right to judge tonight
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
