if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
