The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you made out with another girl for some wings
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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