I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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