You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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