This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I think people are normalizing furries
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
