Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
