my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
