Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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