I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
