i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
