glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
two words...techno handjob
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
