How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
